MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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