This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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