Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I think a kid would responsible me up
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
