HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
