walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
this is an emotional support booty call
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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