He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
