the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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