Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
