Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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