Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
