I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
