I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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