Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize