At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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