Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
