If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
