She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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