Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
