The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
