all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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