As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
