Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
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