Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
