If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
