I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
