everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
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