My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
