Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
