Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
If I die, sorry about rent.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
