My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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