Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
