We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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