In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
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So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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