i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
