I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
