Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
