I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
