I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
