sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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