fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
