I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Randomize
