the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
