I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I think my vagina is haunted
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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