Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
