turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
