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Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
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