do herpes really smell.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.