We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.