I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
