i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Randomize
