they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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