I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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