whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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