yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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