i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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