This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
