she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
