hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
