You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
