i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize