Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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