No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
