hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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