Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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