Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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