dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
