I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
